My heart, as I believe I've said before here, is affected sometimes by certain songs. They speak to me of my relationship with God, and of His love for me. In pursuing my heart, God takes full advantage of this "weakness."
Some of these songs you're probably already familiar with. One in particular, "More" by Matthew West, I've already mentioned in this blog.
This song is, as it's introduced in the video, a love song from God to us. It speaks to me particularly well because I love a lot of the things mentioned in the song (mountains, oceans, etc), and it addresses some of the lies I hold onto, such as believing that I'm beneath God's notice or too messed up and chaotic for Him to want to be around, especially when I'm at my worst and need Him most. It reminds me of how God's pursuit of my heart is persistent and comes through really in every single detail of Creation around me. It is not an accident that I was made in a world that has snow and trees, mountains and streams, and that I happen to love those things: God set that up on purpose. His pursuit extends even into the little details. While I'm not claiming divine inspiration for Matthew West's song, it was God ultimately who allowed him to create it, and it was God who arranged for me to hear it. It's God who gave me the time to write this post, the inclination to do it, and through it is reminding me minute by minute of His unfailing love.
There are other hymns I might mention, but there's a whole other class of songs I want to address now: love songs. "More" is a love song explicitly written to be of God pursuing us, but other love songs speak to my relationship with God. They don't often fit exactly. Love between a man and a woman is, I believe, meant to be an allegory of the love between God and His saints, but the allegory isn't perfect--especially since nothing we do as humans turns out perfect. Still, God has used a lot of these songs in winning my heart, and I'd like to share them with you.
You'll notice that pretty much all of these songs are by Taylor Swift. So, I confess, I am a Taylor Swift fan--and unashamed to rock out to girly country love songs. They're good songs, in my opinion, and she's a very talented singer and performer in my opinion, but a big factor in my appreciation is that I started listening to Taylor Swift songs at about the same time as I started to understand the connection between my relationship with God and love songs.
The first song is "I'm Only Me When I'm with You" by Taylor Swift.
I actually heard the phrase I'm the only me when I'm with you a year or two before I discovered this song. I immediately applied it to my identity in Christ. As a Christian, my old life, with sin and all its trappings, is not who I am any longer. It's not who I want to be. It's not who I will be. It's not who I am in the core of my being. I may still sin (I do, a lot actually), but when I do, I'm living a lie, because the new me, the real one, is in relationship with Christ. It is through that relationship that I derive my identity, and everything that makes me me flows out of it. This song takes it a little further and says some things that also describe my relationship with God. It's true that I "don't wanna fly" if God's "still on the ground." I don't want to go anywhere or into anything if He's not with me--not just because I need Him to have my back, but also because I live to please Him. That's not to say I always do a good job of that. Like the song says, "you drive me crazy half the time." God and I have our share of drama, but we have our moments--great moments like the one the song opens with--and their sweetness (and the sweetness of making up after and getting through drama) makes up for any negatives.
This brings me to the next song, which deals with a typical case of drama. It's "You Belong with Me" by Taylor Swift.
The song reverses the typical "gender roles" I see in see reflecting my relationship with God. The story of the song is about a girl, who is just perfect for this guy, witnessing the destructive spiral of his relationship with a girl who isn't any good for him, whom he loves only for superficial reasons, and calling out to him: "you belong with me!" I feel like God is in the position of that girl when ever I start flirting with temptation. I go after other things, idols of my heart. I pretend that they are as good and satisfying as God, better in fact. But it's a lie. The appeal of sin is merely superficial, and the power of idols is nothing but a sham. All this time, God patiently stands by, arms outstretched, reminding me that He is the one I belong with, that He is the one who can really fulfill the desires of my heart.
Sadly, I don't always listen. I am very stubborn, and am known to try to hold out against Him for days. That brings me to "The Other Side of the Door" by Taylor Swift.
This song sounds incredibly selfish, but I confess that when I first heard it I couldn't help immediately thinking that it perfectly fits my relationship with God and how our fights typically resolve. I will get upset about something, or afraid, or ashamed, or whatever. I will try to walk out because in the heat of everything, I just want out. I want to bury whatever God has uncovered. Whatever the flaw is, it seems easier to bury it than deal with it, or let God deal with it. Of course, He won't let me do that--He won't allow it to remain and just keep coming up again and causing more damage to me. So, I'll try to shut Him out. But, like the girl in the song, what I'm not telling myself is that really I wish God would keep "stand outside my window throwing pebbles screaming, 'I'm in love with you!'" My heart is persuaded of some lie, and I will hold onto it as long as I can...but I really do need to let it go. I need a God who is persistent enough to overcome my resistance. I need Him to keep pursuing, no matter what I say to Him, so that His truth will win out over the lie and I can be whole again. At times like this, "me and my stupid pride" are my own worst enemies, and for my sake (and the sake of His glory), I need Him to "chase after me."
In the end, God's love always wins out. Who can resist God?
In the end, who wants to resist a God like this?
So, in the end, I surrender. My walls of resistance crumble and I am vulnerable before God once more. At that time, I feel terribly vulnerable. I realize I've sinned, and I am afraid He will punish me--forgetting that my sins were punished at Calvary. I am tempted to run away again, to hide in shame and guilt in order to avoid upsetting and disappointing God. But, in Christ, He sees me differently, as "Innocent" (by Taylor Swift--do you like how I worked that in?).
This song is good to speaking to the forgiveness of God, for me, because it does not pretend that the sin and the frustration and guilt do not exist. It starts by acknowledging them. Then, it makes a distinction, an important distinction that I often forget: "Who you are is not where you've been" and "Who you are is not what you did." Who I am, is, from the first song, my identity in Christ. It's not whatever horrible things I've done. In Christ, I'm "still an innocent." I'm "still growing up," but Christ does not see me as a bundle of hopeless flaws. My "string of lights" is "still bright" to Him! He gently reminds me that my sins are taken away, the guilt is paid for, and that I am still an innocent in His eyes--and that, though I may have "lost my balance on a tightrope, it's never too late to get it back!" My God is a God of second chances!
So, let me wrap up with one of my favorites. It is how things usually end up. God, in His love, has uncovered the flaw I didn't even know was there--or did know and wanted to keep hidden from everyone. He has insisted it be dealt with, and He's overcome my resistance to doing so. He's overcome my shame and guilt with His wonderfully persistent love. At long last, we together confront the issue He has found, and because of His greatness, love, and power, it is undone. God is victorious: He has won out over sin, and He has once again won my heart. The victory celebration is mutual, a moment to remember, as in "Long Live" by Taylor Swift.
Whenever I hear this song, and whenever we celebrate some little victory, my mind goes to anticipation of the ultimate victory celebration we will have in Heaven. When "we will be remembered" and "all the pretenders" will be defeated and "all the walls we've crashed through" will only glorify God more. We will rein together, Christ and His Bride. "All the kingdom's lights will shine" just for us, and I'll be able to look back on this life and tell Him, "I had the time of my life fighting dragons with You!" Long Live my Lord, my Love, my God!
Some of these songs you're probably already familiar with. One in particular, "More" by Matthew West, I've already mentioned in this blog.
This song is, as it's introduced in the video, a love song from God to us. It speaks to me particularly well because I love a lot of the things mentioned in the song (mountains, oceans, etc), and it addresses some of the lies I hold onto, such as believing that I'm beneath God's notice or too messed up and chaotic for Him to want to be around, especially when I'm at my worst and need Him most. It reminds me of how God's pursuit of my heart is persistent and comes through really in every single detail of Creation around me. It is not an accident that I was made in a world that has snow and trees, mountains and streams, and that I happen to love those things: God set that up on purpose. His pursuit extends even into the little details. While I'm not claiming divine inspiration for Matthew West's song, it was God ultimately who allowed him to create it, and it was God who arranged for me to hear it. It's God who gave me the time to write this post, the inclination to do it, and through it is reminding me minute by minute of His unfailing love.
There are other hymns I might mention, but there's a whole other class of songs I want to address now: love songs. "More" is a love song explicitly written to be of God pursuing us, but other love songs speak to my relationship with God. They don't often fit exactly. Love between a man and a woman is, I believe, meant to be an allegory of the love between God and His saints, but the allegory isn't perfect--especially since nothing we do as humans turns out perfect. Still, God has used a lot of these songs in winning my heart, and I'd like to share them with you.
You'll notice that pretty much all of these songs are by Taylor Swift. So, I confess, I am a Taylor Swift fan--and unashamed to rock out to girly country love songs. They're good songs, in my opinion, and she's a very talented singer and performer in my opinion, but a big factor in my appreciation is that I started listening to Taylor Swift songs at about the same time as I started to understand the connection between my relationship with God and love songs.
The first song is "I'm Only Me When I'm with You" by Taylor Swift.
I actually heard the phrase I'm the only me when I'm with you a year or two before I discovered this song. I immediately applied it to my identity in Christ. As a Christian, my old life, with sin and all its trappings, is not who I am any longer. It's not who I want to be. It's not who I will be. It's not who I am in the core of my being. I may still sin (I do, a lot actually), but when I do, I'm living a lie, because the new me, the real one, is in relationship with Christ. It is through that relationship that I derive my identity, and everything that makes me me flows out of it. This song takes it a little further and says some things that also describe my relationship with God. It's true that I "don't wanna fly" if God's "still on the ground." I don't want to go anywhere or into anything if He's not with me--not just because I need Him to have my back, but also because I live to please Him. That's not to say I always do a good job of that. Like the song says, "you drive me crazy half the time." God and I have our share of drama, but we have our moments--great moments like the one the song opens with--and their sweetness (and the sweetness of making up after and getting through drama) makes up for any negatives.
This brings me to the next song, which deals with a typical case of drama. It's "You Belong with Me" by Taylor Swift.
The song reverses the typical "gender roles" I see in see reflecting my relationship with God. The story of the song is about a girl, who is just perfect for this guy, witnessing the destructive spiral of his relationship with a girl who isn't any good for him, whom he loves only for superficial reasons, and calling out to him: "you belong with me!" I feel like God is in the position of that girl when ever I start flirting with temptation. I go after other things, idols of my heart. I pretend that they are as good and satisfying as God, better in fact. But it's a lie. The appeal of sin is merely superficial, and the power of idols is nothing but a sham. All this time, God patiently stands by, arms outstretched, reminding me that He is the one I belong with, that He is the one who can really fulfill the desires of my heart.
Sadly, I don't always listen. I am very stubborn, and am known to try to hold out against Him for days. That brings me to "The Other Side of the Door" by Taylor Swift.
This song sounds incredibly selfish, but I confess that when I first heard it I couldn't help immediately thinking that it perfectly fits my relationship with God and how our fights typically resolve. I will get upset about something, or afraid, or ashamed, or whatever. I will try to walk out because in the heat of everything, I just want out. I want to bury whatever God has uncovered. Whatever the flaw is, it seems easier to bury it than deal with it, or let God deal with it. Of course, He won't let me do that--He won't allow it to remain and just keep coming up again and causing more damage to me. So, I'll try to shut Him out. But, like the girl in the song, what I'm not telling myself is that really I wish God would keep "stand outside my window throwing pebbles screaming, 'I'm in love with you!'" My heart is persuaded of some lie, and I will hold onto it as long as I can...but I really do need to let it go. I need a God who is persistent enough to overcome my resistance. I need Him to keep pursuing, no matter what I say to Him, so that His truth will win out over the lie and I can be whole again. At times like this, "me and my stupid pride" are my own worst enemies, and for my sake (and the sake of His glory), I need Him to "chase after me."
In the end, God's love always wins out. Who can resist God?
In the end, who wants to resist a God like this?
So, in the end, I surrender. My walls of resistance crumble and I am vulnerable before God once more. At that time, I feel terribly vulnerable. I realize I've sinned, and I am afraid He will punish me--forgetting that my sins were punished at Calvary. I am tempted to run away again, to hide in shame and guilt in order to avoid upsetting and disappointing God. But, in Christ, He sees me differently, as "Innocent" (by Taylor Swift--do you like how I worked that in?).
This song is good to speaking to the forgiveness of God, for me, because it does not pretend that the sin and the frustration and guilt do not exist. It starts by acknowledging them. Then, it makes a distinction, an important distinction that I often forget: "Who you are is not where you've been" and "Who you are is not what you did." Who I am, is, from the first song, my identity in Christ. It's not whatever horrible things I've done. In Christ, I'm "still an innocent." I'm "still growing up," but Christ does not see me as a bundle of hopeless flaws. My "string of lights" is "still bright" to Him! He gently reminds me that my sins are taken away, the guilt is paid for, and that I am still an innocent in His eyes--and that, though I may have "lost my balance on a tightrope, it's never too late to get it back!" My God is a God of second chances!
So, let me wrap up with one of my favorites. It is how things usually end up. God, in His love, has uncovered the flaw I didn't even know was there--or did know and wanted to keep hidden from everyone. He has insisted it be dealt with, and He's overcome my resistance to doing so. He's overcome my shame and guilt with His wonderfully persistent love. At long last, we together confront the issue He has found, and because of His greatness, love, and power, it is undone. God is victorious: He has won out over sin, and He has once again won my heart. The victory celebration is mutual, a moment to remember, as in "Long Live" by Taylor Swift.
Whenever I hear this song, and whenever we celebrate some little victory, my mind goes to anticipation of the ultimate victory celebration we will have in Heaven. When "we will be remembered" and "all the pretenders" will be defeated and "all the walls we've crashed through" will only glorify God more. We will rein together, Christ and His Bride. "All the kingdom's lights will shine" just for us, and I'll be able to look back on this life and tell Him, "I had the time of my life fighting dragons with You!" Long Live my Lord, my Love, my God!
Didn't know you were a Taylor Swift fan teehehe!
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