I have had the opportunity to observe firsthand, through my own journals and diaries, how God pursues a heart--as He pursues mine. I was reflecting on this process the other day and saw some common themes, which recurred throughout my life with God. Tonight, as I listened to my friends pray and talk about God, it seemed that these themes applied to their lives as well. I figured I should sit down then and write them out, where they could benefit me and maybe others as well, helping us make sense of day to day pursuit by God. So, here they are. Since all believers are members of the Church, and the Church is feminine in relationship with God (Ephesians 5:25-32), I will use the convention of calling God, the Pursuer, He and the object of His desire She.
(1) First of all, it is a pursuit. There is a Pursuer--a Romancer--and a Quarry--a Beloved. These are the two basic roles of this sort of relationship with God. I would not go so far as to say that every action and reaction of the relationship takes place within this framework--though I suppose it might--nor that the roles do not temporarily reverse. However, by and large, the relationship is best viewed this way: God is the Pursuer, the Romancer. We are His Quarry, His Beloved.
(2) These roles are interdependent. The Romancer pursues the Beloved, romancing her and attempting to win Her heart. This process requires participation from both parties. Both of them have a part to play which cannot be--and I think, shouldn't be--controlled or played by the other party.
(A) The Romancer cannot control the Beloved's reaction to his advances. She is free to reject them or accept them at will, and she must be. For the Pursuer to attempt to arrange it otherwise would be to force Her--and God would never do such a thing to His Beloved.
(B) The same thing goes the other way: the Quarry (the Beloved--though usually when this becomes an issue, She's behaving like a Quarry more than a Beloved) cannot control the actions of the Pursuer. This is usually a much bigger issue in a relationship with God than the Pursuer trying to force the Quarry (since God, being perfect, never does such a thing). The Quarry however (as I can attest, having done this frequently myself) will very often attempt to seize control of the Pursuer's actions. For myself, I can say its a security issue. I get an artificial sense of safety when I have control--or when I feel like I am in control--of my relationship with God. After all, if I am in control nothing I don't like will happen, right? Of course, the only effective way to be in control of this kind of relationship is to try to seize authority over the actions of the Pursuer, to dictate to Him how He can and cannot romance me, to lay down a set of laws and boundaries. This gives me a sense of safety, but it is false, and it strangles off the romance and joy of the relationship. While it is tempting as a Quarry to try to control the actions of the Pursuer, it is ultimately unsatisfying to do so.
(3) This leads me to another theme I've noticed in my life as a Quarry/Beloved. There is a certain cognitive dissonance involved in playing this role with God. On the one hand, there is the Quarry's desire to be in control, to feel safe, to escape. These appear to be instinctive reactions, probably coming from the flesh. Yet on the other hand, there is the Beloved's desire to be loved, to be romanced, to be held, captivated, surprised, and awed. These desires are totally incompatible with each other, but nevertheless they exist simultaneously in me whenever God pursues me. There's a little tug to try to escape or try to get Him to stop it--but at the same time I don't want Him to stop. It feels good, and I want Him to romance me more, and if I run, I do not want to get away: I want Him to catch me. As the Beloved, my greatest hope is that someday He will succeed in capturing my heart so thoroughly that my Quarry tendencies will evaporate and I will be content to remain forever "caught"--eternally His. If I am to take the Bible seriously, with it's talk of Heaven, this desire will someday be granted.
(4) The above conflict within the Beloved can lead to a roller-coaster or yo-yo relationship with God. There will be times when the Beloved feels intensely romanced by God, when She opens her heart to His advances, revels in His love. Then, there are times--often juxtaposed with these other times--when the Quarry will take over, when She will run from the Pursuer or try to dictate His pursuit and wall Her heart off from Him. If at this point the Pursuer were to give up, the relationship would be over. Fortunately, we serve a God Whose patience and persistence are--well--truly divine. He never gives up. While He does allow the Quarry to attempt to escape to the best of Her abilities, He will make it hard for her to do so effectively by hindering her flight and pursuing her. In the end, His limitless endurance and fearless persistence always win. The Quarry becomes disheartened in Her flight and gives up, allowing Herself to fall into His arms. At the same time (or alternately), the Beloved's heart is stirred by the Romancer's pursuit. She remembers the joy of being romanced, and loses the desire to flee, control, or avoid the Pursuer, surrendering Herself to Him. From hearing a number of believers discuss their relationship with God, this kind of dynamic seems to be the norm.
(5) A new thing I'm noticing, still learning, is that the Romancer, God, sees the Beloved as having great inherent value. He sees Her as irreplaceable. He loves Her without regard for her present, past, or future actions. This is, at least in part, motive for His pursuit. Myself, I find this very hard to understand. I do not see this value in myself. When I do see value, I tend to try to place it in what I do, not who I am. God disagrees.
(1) First of all, it is a pursuit. There is a Pursuer--a Romancer--and a Quarry--a Beloved. These are the two basic roles of this sort of relationship with God. I would not go so far as to say that every action and reaction of the relationship takes place within this framework--though I suppose it might--nor that the roles do not temporarily reverse. However, by and large, the relationship is best viewed this way: God is the Pursuer, the Romancer. We are His Quarry, His Beloved.
(2) These roles are interdependent. The Romancer pursues the Beloved, romancing her and attempting to win Her heart. This process requires participation from both parties. Both of them have a part to play which cannot be--and I think, shouldn't be--controlled or played by the other party.
(A) The Romancer cannot control the Beloved's reaction to his advances. She is free to reject them or accept them at will, and she must be. For the Pursuer to attempt to arrange it otherwise would be to force Her--and God would never do such a thing to His Beloved.
(B) The same thing goes the other way: the Quarry (the Beloved--though usually when this becomes an issue, She's behaving like a Quarry more than a Beloved) cannot control the actions of the Pursuer. This is usually a much bigger issue in a relationship with God than the Pursuer trying to force the Quarry (since God, being perfect, never does such a thing). The Quarry however (as I can attest, having done this frequently myself) will very often attempt to seize control of the Pursuer's actions. For myself, I can say its a security issue. I get an artificial sense of safety when I have control--or when I feel like I am in control--of my relationship with God. After all, if I am in control nothing I don't like will happen, right? Of course, the only effective way to be in control of this kind of relationship is to try to seize authority over the actions of the Pursuer, to dictate to Him how He can and cannot romance me, to lay down a set of laws and boundaries. This gives me a sense of safety, but it is false, and it strangles off the romance and joy of the relationship. While it is tempting as a Quarry to try to control the actions of the Pursuer, it is ultimately unsatisfying to do so.
(3) This leads me to another theme I've noticed in my life as a Quarry/Beloved. There is a certain cognitive dissonance involved in playing this role with God. On the one hand, there is the Quarry's desire to be in control, to feel safe, to escape. These appear to be instinctive reactions, probably coming from the flesh. Yet on the other hand, there is the Beloved's desire to be loved, to be romanced, to be held, captivated, surprised, and awed. These desires are totally incompatible with each other, but nevertheless they exist simultaneously in me whenever God pursues me. There's a little tug to try to escape or try to get Him to stop it--but at the same time I don't want Him to stop. It feels good, and I want Him to romance me more, and if I run, I do not want to get away: I want Him to catch me. As the Beloved, my greatest hope is that someday He will succeed in capturing my heart so thoroughly that my Quarry tendencies will evaporate and I will be content to remain forever "caught"--eternally His. If I am to take the Bible seriously, with it's talk of Heaven, this desire will someday be granted.
(4) The above conflict within the Beloved can lead to a roller-coaster or yo-yo relationship with God. There will be times when the Beloved feels intensely romanced by God, when She opens her heart to His advances, revels in His love. Then, there are times--often juxtaposed with these other times--when the Quarry will take over, when She will run from the Pursuer or try to dictate His pursuit and wall Her heart off from Him. If at this point the Pursuer were to give up, the relationship would be over. Fortunately, we serve a God Whose patience and persistence are--well--truly divine. He never gives up. While He does allow the Quarry to attempt to escape to the best of Her abilities, He will make it hard for her to do so effectively by hindering her flight and pursuing her. In the end, His limitless endurance and fearless persistence always win. The Quarry becomes disheartened in Her flight and gives up, allowing Herself to fall into His arms. At the same time (or alternately), the Beloved's heart is stirred by the Romancer's pursuit. She remembers the joy of being romanced, and loses the desire to flee, control, or avoid the Pursuer, surrendering Herself to Him. From hearing a number of believers discuss their relationship with God, this kind of dynamic seems to be the norm.
(5) A new thing I'm noticing, still learning, is that the Romancer, God, sees the Beloved as having great inherent value. He sees Her as irreplaceable. He loves Her without regard for her present, past, or future actions. This is, at least in part, motive for His pursuit. Myself, I find this very hard to understand. I do not see this value in myself. When I do see value, I tend to try to place it in what I do, not who I am. God disagrees.
No comments:
Post a Comment