Matthew 14:29-31 was the subject of today's Sunday school lesson. We've been going through Max Lucado's Fearless and this week addressed the topic of fear of being overwhelmed by circumstances. We talked about it with the background of Peter walking on the water. He took his eyes off of Christ and looked at the huge waves around him, and when he did, he felt overwhelmed and afraid (and consequently, began to sink). My Dad (yes, I'm a P.K.--a preacher's kid) asked what circumstances threatened to overwhelm us in our own lives (what "storms" we had). Of course, finances figured prominently. My Dad's taking care of finances for my Grandmother, who's in an assisted living facility because of her Alzheimer's. Prices there were a little over her retirement income to begin with, and they keep rising. At this rate, it seems, in a few years, her savings will run out, and then what? As for me, I look for scholarships every year, but there's never enough to cover the full cost of school. I have three more semesters left, but only (barely) enough money for one. Will I be able to find a job or a paying internship this summer and save enough for my last two semesters? With my youngest sister heading to college in the fall as well, will my parents be able to support my last year of schooling?
My Dad then asked a common, but nonetheless still valid question: why does God allow these storms in life to come at all?
Relating back to yesterday's post and one from September, I guessed that it was because God wanted to show Himself as a hero, a Savior, for us. He allows bad situations and even bad people to come, to show that He can handle them (as God Himself says to one of those bad people, the Pharoah who apposed Moses in Exodus 9:16). This is certainly true, but as 1 Peter 1:6-7 points out, trials not only prove God's power, but also test our faith, excercising it and building it. And yet, very often when we face the storms of life, our response is not faith. We are all just like Peter, too busy looking at the waves to remember Christ. We doubt and we fear, and we begin to sink. My Dad perscribed some sensible remedies for this, for "keeping our eyes on Christ": prayer, first of all, and also reading the Bible, and putting our situation into perspective (after all, God has helped people through things a lot worse than our current financial crisis, personal crisis, or just general all-around crisis).
But the question that Christ asked Peter remains to be answered in our lives: why do we doubt? Is it because we overestimate the overwhelming power of the "storms" in our lives? Perhaps. Is it that we underestimate the saving power of God? Maybe sometimes. In my own life, though, when in doubt, I often find that I would answer both of those questions in the negative. I know perfectly well that my problems, while overwhelming to me, are nothing to God. I do not doubt that He can handle them and deliver me from all kinds of overwhelming circumstances. Yet still I am afraid. Why? Most often for me, I find that the question at the root of my fear isn't "Can God really come through for me in this situation?" but rather "Will God come through for me in this situation?" I mean, He's a big, busy God running an entire universe in which I am, apparently just one young human on a small rocky planet orbiting an averge G-type star (okay, you caught me, I'm also an astronomy nerd). He's got, I'm sure, big plans for this planet, and for all of history, which He's busy arranging. I only occupy a brief sliver of that history and (odds are) not a terribly important sliver. Surely God doesn't have time for me. Surely He isn't interested in all of my problems. I mean, there are some big ones, on occasion, and there are always big prayers for the world and others. I'm sure He listens to those, but when it comes to personal problems--and especially personal problems that don't seem all that important (like the links on my webcomic site not working or this girl I like or whatever's been on my mind lately)--I'll clam up. Surely God doesn't want to be bothered with all that silly (albiet troublesome for me) stuff. Why would He care?
The answer is quite simple, actually. If He really loved me, He'd care. If He really loved me, He'd want to hear about that stuff and come through for me in it--not just to prove He could, but to prove He would, because He loves me. So, does He love me that much, or am I just another Christian preacher's kid to Him? I admit, I often go to my "Christian" (read "good") behavior/bad-behavior scorecard and think to myself, I'm not good enough for God to love like that. I'll just keep these concerns to myself. Yet, this whole notion is wrong. God does love us, all of us, dearly. He sent His Son to die on the cross to prove it, and He lives every day to prove it again (incidently, sometimes He won't let me say "Amen" till I've unloaded all my "unimportant" requests, because they matter to Him). So let's add one more to the list of things that kill worry: prayer, the Bible, seeing the problem in perspective, and remembering God's great love for us.
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