Last weekend, the Navigators of CSU had the distinct privilege of hosting Jerry Bridges, author of the book The Pursuit of Holiness, which we are currently studying. He spoke at NavNight that Friday and then gave another speech to the student leaders the next morning. There, he confessed that the one thing he thought was lacking in The Pursuit of Holiness was sufficient reminders of the grace of the gospel, which is central to the pursuit of holiness in a Christian's life. He said that, in his experience, Christians had two very different ideas about why God loved them and why they stood justified before Him. Of course, every true Christian knows that at the moment of salvation it is not his or her good works that bring God's favor. At salvation, the great truth is that God's favor is given solely on the basis of God's grace, totally unmerited by any works. Of course, the focus at the moment of salvation is often another moment: the moment when we will stand before God. We know that, at that moment, as at the moment of salvation, we will be justified before God and receive His eternal love in Heaven solely on the basis of His infinite grace, not merited by our good works or lack thereof (mostly the latter!).
But what about in between? What about in our day-to-day lives, somewhere between the Cross of conversion and the Throne of God? Right now, if I were to ask you if God is pleased with you, whether you are justified before Him and abiding in His love, what comes to your mind? The cross of Christ? I confess this is not what I first think of. What pops immediately into my mind is a checklist of things I'm supposed to do, as a good little Christian, and a list of sins I'm supposed to avoid. Did I have a quiet time this morning? No, well, that's minus 2. Did I evangelize any this week? Yes! Well, sort of...aww, I'll give myself five points anyway. Have I been keeping up with my prayers [Yes, I honestly think of it this way far too often]? Well, no, not today, but I got my whole prayer list for yesterday, that's gotta be worth a point. Have I sinned, to my knowledge, today? Well, yeah...guess that's two off... Have I confessed that sin and made it right with God? Well, honestly, no. I was waiting for my quiet time so I could get the points from that before I brought up those sinful thoughts from this morning. Rats, that's worse than the sin was to start with: minus six. So, in all, is God pleased with me? Am I justified in His sight? Does He love me? Well, guess not, I mean, I added up my good and bad from the day so far and I got a -4. God must be upset with me 'cause I'm such a bad Christian. He must not love me just now. Now, I don't doubt for a moment that I'm saved by grace and that, if, as I was adding up my -4 score for the day, I was hit by a bus, I would still go to Heaven to be with God, based on the cross of Christ--well, maybe I doubt it a little as I stare at that negative score Oh, no! Doubting God's grace for my salvation! No good Christian ever does that! It's gotta be minus 15! Now, God must hate me!--but I certainly find it difficult to believe in His love for me at that moment.
To quote a more eloquent Christian (my thanks to Jerry Bridges who shared this quote from some other writer, I think...): "I know we're saved by grace, but I'm certain we gain His favor through our obedience." Yet there is a big problem with this day-to-day performance-based theology: we never obey perfectly, though the Spirit lives within us and gives us everything we need for perfect holiness. All too often, we are with Paul, bemoaning our poor performance and wondering why we always seem to do the opposite of what we know we should do (Romans 7:15 & 19). This being the case, if God's love and favor in our present lives is based on our broken obedience, God must not love us at all in this life!
God has something to say about this. His constant reminders of His unfailing, unchanging, unconditional love (throughout scripture and daily life) overwhelm my wall of doubts. His brazen love for me confronts my scorecard and begs the question: Is God mistaken? What should I do, shout up to the Heavens: Hello? Didn't you check my scorecard today? I just added it up and it's about twenty below. You can't possibly love me today. It's not allowed, and certainly not in this sort of intimate incredible way, God. Wait until I do my quiet time, go to Bible study, do some evangelism, and say some really great prayers, then I'll have a nice fat positive score again and You can love me all You want....Just not now God, honestly, You of all people should know that sort of thing is wrong! It's ridiculous to the point of being comical in print, and yet tragic in it's reality. Quite often when I'm conscious that I'm not living up to the image of the "perfect Christian good-guy" in my head, and yet God shows His love to me in some profound and powerful way, this is exactly the way I feel and exactly what I'm tempted to say to God. Don't touch me now, God. I'm a mess. I haven't cleaned this sin out of my life. I haven't touched up my Christian face with some make-up spirituality all day. I'm gross. Please don't love me, just leave me alone for now. How about tomorrow, if I get cleaned up? God's reaction seems to range from a bemused shake of the head to heated rage (the latter especially when I'm a real mess and the temptation to push His love away is so strong--and yet He and I both know that if I don't have His love expressed to me and held in the forefront of my mind at those moments, when I most need it, I'll be sunk. He won't let me get away with spurning Him at a time like that [hmf, listen to the ridiculous pride of it, spurning God]). In the Bible, by Paul, God decries this sort of a mentality: "Are you so foolish?", he says in Galatians 3:3, "After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" Where in the Bible does it say that the grace of God is limited to salvation and the Judgment Seat? Where in the Bible does it say that we are to earn the favor of God day-to-day? Rather, Galatians 2:20 says that the grace of the cross applies to our lives which we live now, in this flesh. Yes, it is justifies us before God in Heaven, when we die, but between now and then, it does not somehow pass out of potency. God does not extend one type of love to us on Judgment Day and another on Tuesdays. It is the same unconditional love, the same grace based on the sacrifice of Christ, that we look forward to at the end of our lives which we receive even now (along with discipline--based in that love--and hardships). When God chooses to share His love with us, who am I to question it and declare the cross ineffectual? When I'm asked whether I'm in God's favor today, I should forget the scorecard and look at the cross. Yup, it's still there. He must love me a lot, today!
To know that the basis of God's love is our identity in Christ (which in turn is based in Christ--in the identity of God: that is to say, Of course God loves His saints, 'cause they're His and He's God!) and not our shady performance is comforting and freeing for me. My sins, present and past, are nailed to the cross, and I need no longer be petrified of them. When I've sinned, I can boldly confess it before the throne of God, trusting that He will forgive me of whatever it is I've done by the blood of Christ...just as He always does, Is He not the Father of faithfulness? I need not sit around worrying that I might sin and crash into an abyss of a week, a day, an hour, or even sixty seconds without God's unfailing love. What could I possibly do that would max out His sacrifice? This is not to say I should not take sin seriously or I should feel free to sin all I want. Rather the assurance of God's unfailing love should embolden me to do righteous deeds, though I know that this entails a risk of screwing up and winding up in sin (like they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I've ventured nothing enough for one life!).
I'll end with this thought from Lamentations 3:22-23, on the unfailing love and bottomless grace of God in daily life:
"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Note to self: Reread this.
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