How We Should Treat "One Another": a brief Bible survey

At church this past week.  We were given a "homework assignment" to find some of the "one another" verses: verses that direct us as Christians in how we are to behave toward each other.

There are a lot of ready-made lists you can find out there, and making one of your own isn't that hard, as long as you have a concordance or a program or website (like Bible Gateway or Blue Letter Bible) that can stand in for one).  The challenge for me is in understanding the list, going beyond a simple collection of chapter and verse citations to actual directions I can apply to my life.

So below I've sorted the results of several lists, grouped them by theme to try to get a feel for the overall message the Bible is telling us.  This is not an exhaustive list, merely a short one composed of other people's lists that I could find in a quick Google search.

Verses about Service:

• John 13:14: "If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet."
• 1 Corinthians 11:33: "So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another—"
• Galatians 5:13: "For you were called to freedom, brothers.  Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."
• Galatians 6:2: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
• 1 Peter 4:9: "Show hospitality to one another without grumbling."

Summary: Christ is to be our example in service, because He came to serve us.  We are to show our love through serving.  We are to use our freedom to serve and help one another.  We are to do it without complaining.

Verses about Love:

• John 13:34-35: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
• John 15:12: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."
• John 15:17: "These things I command you, so that you will love one another."
• Romans 12:10a: "Love one another with brotherly affection."
• Romans 13:8: "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law."
• 1 Thessalonians 3:12: "and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another, and for all, as we do for you."
• 1 Thessalonians 4:9: "Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another"
• 2 Thessalonians 1:3: "We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing."
• 1 Peter 1:22: "Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart."
• 1 John 3:11: "For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another."
• 1 John 3:23: "And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us."
• 1 John 4:7-8: "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God, and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
• 1 John 4:11-12: "Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
• 2 John 1:5: "And now I ask you, dear lady—not as though I were writing to you a new commandment, but the one that we have had from the beginning—that we love one another."

Summary: Love is paramount.  It is the only one of these that is actually called a command.  Love is the first command, Christ's command, a new and an old command.  Love fulfills the law.  Christ is to be our example in love.  We are to love because He loved us, as He loved us.  God the Father is also our example in love because He is love.  Our love is to be a sign that we know Him and that we are true disciples of Christ.  Failure to love casts doubt on whether or not we truly know God.

Verses about Encouragement:

• Romans 1:12: "that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine."
• Ephesians 5:18-19: "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart."
• 1 Thessalonians 4:18: "Therefore encourage one another with these words." (speaking about the resurrection and rapture)
• 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."
• Hebrews 3:13: "But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called 'today,' that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."
• Hebrews 10:24: "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works."

Summary: We are to encourage each other with our faith, with reminders of the coming rapture and resurrection, and with songs.  The goal is to encourage each other to love and do good works, and to keep our hearts from being hardened by sin.

Verses about Unity:

• Mark 9:50 "Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again?  Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another."
• Romans 12:4-5: "For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."
• Romans 12:16: "Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.  Never be wise in your own sight."
• Romans 14:19: "So let us then pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding."
• Romans 15:5-7: "May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God."
• 1 Corinthians 7:5: "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (in context this is talking about sexual unity between married believers)
• 1 Corinthians 12:22-27: "On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require.  But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.  If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.  Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it."
• Ephesians 4:1-3: "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
• 1 John 1:7: "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."

Summary: Unity is our identity.  We are one in Christ.  We are one body with many parts.  We are not who we are by ourselves.  We are only "us" together.  We are therefore to be together regularly, welcoming each other, having fellowship with each other, sharing our highs and lows, sympathizing with each other, and being at peace with each other.

Verses about Honor:

• Romans 12:10b: "Outdo one another in showing honor."
• Philippians 2:3: "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."

Summary: We are to have only one rivalry, only one competition, and that is in who can honor the other more.  This requires humility on our own part.

Verses about Instructing:

• Romans 15:14: "I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another."
• Colossians 3:16: "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

Summary: We are to be filled with goodness, knowledge, and Christ so that we may instruct one another in all wisdom.

Verses about Greeting:

• Romans 16:16: "Greet one another with a holy kiss.  All the churches of Christ greet you."
• 1 Corinthians 16:20: "All the brothers send you greetings.  Greet one another with a holy kiss."
• 2 Corinthians 13:12: "Greet one another with a holy kiss."
• 1 Peter 5:14: "Greet one another with the kiss of love.  Peace to all of you who are in Christ."

Summary: We are to greet one another, and it is to be with a kiss.

Verses about Forgiving:

• Ephesians 4:32: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
• Colossians 3:13: "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgive you, so you also must forgive."

Summary: We must forgive each other.  Christ is to be our example in forgiveness.

Verses about Submission:

• Ephesians 5:21: "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."
• 1 Peter 5:5: "Likewise you who are younger, be subject to the elders.  Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God 'opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'"

Summary: All of us are to be submitted to each other out of humility and respect for God.

Verses about Honesty:

• Ephesians 4:25: "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for are members one of another."
• Colossians 3:9: "Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices"

Summary: We are to no longer practice falsehood, but to be honest with each other.

Verses about Praying:

• James 5:16: "Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

Summary: We are to honestly confess our sins to each other, and pray for each other's spiritual healing from these sins.  These prayers are effective.

Verses about not Judging:

• Romans 14:13: "Let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but decide rather never to put a stumbling block or a hindrance in the way of a brother."
• James 4:11: "Do not speak evil against one another, brothers.  The one who speaks against a brother or judges a brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law.  But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge."

Summary: We are to not judge, speak evil of, or hinder one another.  To do such things reflects negatively on our view of the law, under which Christ holds us forgiven and blameless.

Verses about What Else NOT to do:

• Galatians 5:26: "Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another."
• 1 Thessalonians 5:15: "See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to good to one another and to everyone."
• James 5:9: "Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you be not judged.  The Judge is standing at the door."

Summary: We are not to provoke, envy, grumble against, or do evil to one another.  Instead, we are to seek to do good to one another.

 I have to admit that all of this is rather humbling and convicting for me.  I spend a lot of time alone.  I could spend a week or more without speaking to a single person.  I have a very solitary nature.  But God has called me outside my comfort zone to be a part of a larger community.  That's not something I'm good at, but it's something I need.  I need to serve and encourage, and I need encouragement myself.  I need prayer.  I need love.  I need the kind of community that would exist if we actually did this, and none of it is happening without me stepping up to bat and doing it myself to others.

One thing that did get me thinking was the verses about greeting each other with a kiss.  It's easy to dismiss this as an outdated social custom, like wearing togas, and headdresses, and hats.  But the Bible says this one repeatedly, through different authors.  That alone makes me wonder.  Then I think about the reasons why we don't kiss other Christians.  We're generally alright with kissing close family members, but other Christians we greet with a respectful handshake or a casual "Hey."  But I think the Bible is deliberately calling us to use the same greeting for fellow Christians that we would normally only use for close family.  After all, that is what we're supposed to be as the Church, a family.  And there is something to be said about the profound and elusive power of touch on our psyches.  A kiss may make us uncomfortably close to some people, but maybe those "untouchables" are just the people we need to touch, to remind us that they are a part of us, and to remind them that they are honored and family in Christ.  There's also the whole idea that Christianity isn't supposed to leave us content in our comfort zones in the first place.  It's definitely something I'll need to look into further.