This morning, there was the story of two men in the Aurora theater shooting who literally laid down their lives to save their girlfriends, shielding them from the bullets with their own bodies. Watch the video here. You won't regret it.
The Bible says this of how a man is to treat his wife, down to his final breath:
In a society where our marriages are predominantly crumbling temporary matters and many of our men are checking out and walking away from their lives, those two men shine like beacons. They weren't even married, but they lived out the vows so many men take at marriage and break at their convenience--the only way those two men were going to leave their lover's side was in a box. And that's exactly what they did.
If you're married, or have been, or plan to be, would you have done the same for your lover? Would you press her down to the safety of the floor and whisper, "Shh, stay down. It's okay. Shh, just stay down," even as rounds ripped into your back and your lifeblood began to pool beneath you? If not, let me say this: you are not a man. You are a dishonor, though you may yet change that and be a man like these. In those fatal seconds, they earned more glory than Alexander the Great in all his battles, more honor than King Solomon held in his court, and demonstrated an integrity more valuable than the net worth of Bill Gates. In eternity, we may scarce remember the names of the world's great kings, conquerors, and wealthy men, but we will remember the names of these men.
My grandfathers were such men. On my mother's side, there's Kenneth Houston. He met his bride as a pen pal during World War II as he served in the merchant marines. He came home and courted her briefly, then married her and stayed married to her through thick and thin until she died suddenly in her 80's. One year later, cancer took him as well, setting on him suddenly as if--with her life now over--it was simply time for him to die as well. Yet to his last breath, he demonstrated love. When his children gathered to figure out who would take care of him for his final days, he chose his son Ray, whom earlier had been estranged to him. If there was any bitterness or healing yet to be done between them, he was determined to do it. In the end, he lost his voice and was bedridden and mute. Yet the last thing anyone remembers him doing is taking the hands of two of his children in his own and joining them together--as if to order them to carry on, to love and care for each other in his immanent absence. Then he fell asleep and never woke up again in this world. Now there was a man! May the halls of Heaven beware his coming!
On my father's side was my paternal grandmother's final husband, Bill Alder. She had been married to many different men in her life, some good and some bad. Bill seemed to last longer than the others. Then, one morning, my grandmother came into the kitchen and found him dead, toppled onto the floor from a heart attack with his coffee growing cold on the table. What we didn't find out until then was that my grandmother had early-onset Alzheimer's and had it pretty bad. When her husband died, it fell on us, her children and grandchildren to care for her--and from personal experience that was a full-time and frustrating job. She couldn't remember to do the most basic things, like getting dressed in the morning, and her mind wore a weary track of questions she couldn't remember the answers to--and couldn't recall asking just five minutes ago. The official literature on Alzheimer's discourages loved ones from trying to care for those who suffer from the disease alone or without help as the stress can literally kill you. Bill knew all about her Alzheimer's, but he never talked about it. He never asked for help. He knew his wife felt very strongly about nursing homes and so he never even let it be suggested that she be taken to one. He took care of her alone, himself, and covered for her slip-ups on the phone as best he could until the stress of it all caught him at that kitchen table, rising early for his wife, and killed him. There was a man! You may argue him a fool for trying to do it all himself, but a noble fool he was.
All of these men are dead now. As their bodies await the resurrection, their memories among the living will fade. Who will show the generations to come what a man is, so that there may be great men in our world in times to come? Do we dare take up the banner of these who have fallen? If we do not dare, will our lives be of any worth, as men?
As for me--as the LORD God, by Whom I live, and breathe, and have my being, lives--I will take up their banner. I will live as Christ my Lord, King, and Lover has lived, and--as He makes me able by His grace--I will die as He died, as they died. I am not strong, but He will give me strength. I am not brave, but He will give me courage. I small and inconsistent in my love, but He will broaden and establish my heart by His Spirit. By Him, I will be such a man! I will live and die as such a man! This is my quest, and for it may every hour and every breath of my life, to my very last, be spent.
So be it.
The Bible says this of how a man is to treat his wife, down to his final breath:
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her..." (Ephesians 5:25)Now Christ perfectly loves His bride, the Church, at all times, but it is interesting that Paul chose this moment as the example of Christ's love--the moment when Christ died for his Bride. That is the moment those two young men dramatized for us with their final breaths.
In a society where our marriages are predominantly crumbling temporary matters and many of our men are checking out and walking away from their lives, those two men shine like beacons. They weren't even married, but they lived out the vows so many men take at marriage and break at their convenience--the only way those two men were going to leave their lover's side was in a box. And that's exactly what they did.
If you're married, or have been, or plan to be, would you have done the same for your lover? Would you press her down to the safety of the floor and whisper, "Shh, stay down. It's okay. Shh, just stay down," even as rounds ripped into your back and your lifeblood began to pool beneath you? If not, let me say this: you are not a man. You are a dishonor, though you may yet change that and be a man like these. In those fatal seconds, they earned more glory than Alexander the Great in all his battles, more honor than King Solomon held in his court, and demonstrated an integrity more valuable than the net worth of Bill Gates. In eternity, we may scarce remember the names of the world's great kings, conquerors, and wealthy men, but we will remember the names of these men.
My grandfathers were such men. On my mother's side, there's Kenneth Houston. He met his bride as a pen pal during World War II as he served in the merchant marines. He came home and courted her briefly, then married her and stayed married to her through thick and thin until she died suddenly in her 80's. One year later, cancer took him as well, setting on him suddenly as if--with her life now over--it was simply time for him to die as well. Yet to his last breath, he demonstrated love. When his children gathered to figure out who would take care of him for his final days, he chose his son Ray, whom earlier had been estranged to him. If there was any bitterness or healing yet to be done between them, he was determined to do it. In the end, he lost his voice and was bedridden and mute. Yet the last thing anyone remembers him doing is taking the hands of two of his children in his own and joining them together--as if to order them to carry on, to love and care for each other in his immanent absence. Then he fell asleep and never woke up again in this world. Now there was a man! May the halls of Heaven beware his coming!
On my father's side was my paternal grandmother's final husband, Bill Alder. She had been married to many different men in her life, some good and some bad. Bill seemed to last longer than the others. Then, one morning, my grandmother came into the kitchen and found him dead, toppled onto the floor from a heart attack with his coffee growing cold on the table. What we didn't find out until then was that my grandmother had early-onset Alzheimer's and had it pretty bad. When her husband died, it fell on us, her children and grandchildren to care for her--and from personal experience that was a full-time and frustrating job. She couldn't remember to do the most basic things, like getting dressed in the morning, and her mind wore a weary track of questions she couldn't remember the answers to--and couldn't recall asking just five minutes ago. The official literature on Alzheimer's discourages loved ones from trying to care for those who suffer from the disease alone or without help as the stress can literally kill you. Bill knew all about her Alzheimer's, but he never talked about it. He never asked for help. He knew his wife felt very strongly about nursing homes and so he never even let it be suggested that she be taken to one. He took care of her alone, himself, and covered for her slip-ups on the phone as best he could until the stress of it all caught him at that kitchen table, rising early for his wife, and killed him. There was a man! You may argue him a fool for trying to do it all himself, but a noble fool he was.
All of these men are dead now. As their bodies await the resurrection, their memories among the living will fade. Who will show the generations to come what a man is, so that there may be great men in our world in times to come? Do we dare take up the banner of these who have fallen? If we do not dare, will our lives be of any worth, as men?
As for me--as the LORD God, by Whom I live, and breathe, and have my being, lives--I will take up their banner. I will live as Christ my Lord, King, and Lover has lived, and--as He makes me able by His grace--I will die as He died, as they died. I am not strong, but He will give me strength. I am not brave, but He will give me courage. I small and inconsistent in my love, but He will broaden and establish my heart by His Spirit. By Him, I will be such a man! I will live and die as such a man! This is my quest, and for it may every hour and every breath of my life, to my very last, be spent.
So be it.
